Hello, Joakim here... So, I am writing this story in hope to inspire you, if you, yourself can relate to me in anyway.
I am still at the very beginning of my journey, but I feel more alive and more happy today than I think I have ever felt before. And, most importantly, I am no longer addicted to alcohol.
Even if I do get cravings and even if there are triggers absolutely everywhere because of how normal it is to drink alcohol, the want for a better health and a clear head has completely taken over and out-weighs my "need" for alcohol and to be honest, I actually feel disgusted even by the thought of drinking now days.
Knowing what I know about alcohol today and what it has the potential to do to you, I do understand why its such a normal thing in today's society.
It slowly digs its claws into you, it slowly warps your way of thinking, your way of feeling and in the end it just makes you feel like crap.
I am a prime example of how alcohol can go from your best friend to your absolute worst enemy. An enemy that is almost impossible to get rid of and will be in the back of you mind every single day. You feel like you have control but you are slowly getting more irritated, stressed, lazy, tired, restless.. you name it, everything negative that you can imagine.
And it's constantly there whispering in the back of your head "drink me and you'll feel better". Obviously you don't want to feel like s#it, the alcohol-store is open and its a cheap fix so, I gave in pretty much every time. Which slowly became every day.
I have always struggled with my confidence and I have been overweight pretty much all my life. I had a very troubled childhood and I started to blame and hate myself very early in my life, I believed in what people said to me about my looks and obviously about my weight because I were bigger than my class mates.
So of course these words stuck with me and they are still with me. I am about to turn 31 years of age this summer.
It all made me find alcohol very early and I quickly realised that I could be funny and confident among other people after a couple of beers. I could make friends with people when I was drinking and I suddenly felt that I was 'someone' I became the funny guy with no shame that made people laugh and I liked to shock people. I thought that it was all that I could offer. Alcohol became something that I enjoyed, a lot since it took away all of my insecurities.
I didn't care as much after some drinks, but underneath it all I was extremely lost, lonely and depressed.
Alcohol has been around me all my adult life, with mixed feelings. I have asked myself many times if I am an addict or not but I have always considered myself not addicted, Obviously lying to myself of course.
Even asking myself that question is a big warning sign that I never, ever listened to.
Not even when I risked to loose everything, I could admit to myself that I had a huge problem with alcohol. My girlfriend has had to go through so much bullshit because of my actions and my blind eyes to the problem.
I was not strong enough and my addiction had a hold of me so much so that I could not control it anymore. It is scary to think back about how much damage alcohol can do to you and your family who care about you over time and I am thankful today to still be here and still have my family by my side.
6 months ago I was a total wreck. I had met the bottom and I've had enough. For real this time.
I had tried giving up alcohol for a long time without result, I was falling back time after time and still tried to convince myself that I still could be drinking on weekends as long as I didn't drink on weekdays. I was stuck, I am a f#cking alcoholic! I really hated myself for it.
I had tried Everything it felt like.. Pushing myself by working out more, forbidding myself to go past the alcohol store, just restricting myself in anyway I could to not fall back into drinking and nothing worked.
Nothing, until one day when my girlfriend told me about Green Smoothies and decided to make me one.
It sounded awful, but, I was in total shock! It tasted So nice, it was just like a fruit smoothie but actually nicer and fresher. Honestly, I was hooked that day!
I felt a rush of energy spreading through my body, like never before. It was like my body was waking up again after hibernating for a long time, I felt Alive!
It actually felt like a drug and one that I wanted more of. And best of all it was actually good for me! How is this possible? Its just a smoothie!? Anyway I made a decision that day, that this is how I want to feel, everyday. I wanted to quit alcohol for good. For real this time. And it is actually as simple as that, Because you see, alcohol is a choice, it is not a disease. It can lead to diseases but it is not a disease itself, it is a choice. A choice that you make because of a feeling. A good feeling. You want to feel good, right? No one wants to feel bad, obviously. Addiction is again, a feeling... a feeling of discomfort, unsatisfied, emptiness, incomplete, stressed, its that feeling of a need for something, that something in this case being alcohol.
Obviously I was scared, I was worried that I would fall back again like every other time that I have tried to quit this "poison" that I refer alcohol to now days. Would green smoothies really be enough? They made me feel really amazing, but would they solely be enough to keep my focus away from alcohol and help me get clean?
I feel honestly yes, because of the psychology behind it and this is why.
Green smoothies when drank as part of a healthy diet, act as a kind of... I guess you could say 'drug' in itself, because good food is good energy and that is all that we are! So understandably you soon become addicted to that new good feeling, that new 'drug'
What they did is lead me onto a very good path, they kick started an awakening inside of me that I have been looking for. Every single day I am addicted to being healthy now instead of slowly killing myself. So, I know they are helping, but I also know how hard it has been to quit drinking so I had to start doing more than drinking green smoothies in the long run, and by this stage I had inspired myself to do so by seeing a change in myself.
Drinking these green smoothies has really opened up my eyes to healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle. I have naturally chosen away things that are not good for me and I have started to crave things that are healthy for me.
I have become totally vegan, I don't like fast food anymore, I prefer water over drinking sugary drinks and of course alcohol, I feel more connected to nature and animals and I am more drawn to a peaceful life with my little tribe out in the woods than living in the city.
I have started to find my true self now, I can feel it and I love it!
I am now 6 months in, April 1st 2019 and I have more energy than ever before.
I am actually happy, I have lost over 10kg without a single hour at the gym and I haven't drank a single drop of alcohol since I made the promise to myself to stop drinking and get healthy.
I am still embarrassed today and I still feel a lot of guilt for abusing alcohol the way that I did and ended up reliant on it, but I am so happy to be where I am today so I try to not look back very often!
So to end... it took One single feeling to break out of years of self harm, self hate and being addicted to alcohol...
And that was a feeling of being healthy on the inside. I guess I could say that my body gave me love back, that was the feeling I got after the first green smoothie my angel (LITERALLY) my angel made me. I was hooked that day, addicted to being healthy.
It is almost insane the changes I have made and even though I struggle at times I feel more alive today than I did a month ago and I know what direction that I want to go.
Green smoothies might have saved my life and I just felt like telling you.
Thank you so much for reading and I hope that this can be useful to you and your life in some way!
J - HippySpiritClothing